The three shifts I recommend include:
1. Choose from the heart vs. overthinking. When we get caught up in thinking, it’s because we think we can solve the uncertainty by thinking it through. While thinking can be helpful, it will rarely cut through indecision when fear takes over. A different approach is simply to choose from the heart — ask yourself what your heart wants in this situation. For example: do I want to write a blog post or go work out — there’s no right answer! I can think for a long time and not come up with the answer. Choosing from the heart is trusting that it’s OK to actually want what you want.
2. Trust vs. wasting brain cycles. I’ve seen people spend so many brain cycles thinking things through, and then deciding … only to worry that their decision isn’t the right one. They make a decision, and then think about it some more. What if we could free ourselves from so much thinking, worry, and rethinking … by just trusting ourselves?
3. Learning vs. getting it “right.” A lot of the time we get stuck in indecision because we want to make the right decision, but that’s not very helpful, because you can’t know what the right decision is. In fact, there might not be a right decision. What if instead we could see it as a learning process, where we try things out and see how that goes? Learn from the process. This learning approach frees us up from having to get it right, and allows for it to be a more empowered process.
You can see from these shifts in mindset that decision-making becomes more relaxed, less tight, more trusting. Effortless, almost.
How to practice
The three shifts I recommend include:
1. Choose from the heart vs. overthinking. When we get caught up in thinking, it’s because we think we can solve the uncertainty by thinking it through. While thinking can be helpful, it will rarely cut through indecision when fear takes over. A different approach is simply to choose from the heart — ask yourself what your heart wants in this situation. For example: do I want to write a blog post or go work out — there’s no right answer! I can think for a long time and not come up with the answer. Choosing from the heart is trusting that it’s OK to actually want what you want.
2. Trust vs. wasting brain cycles. I’ve seen people spend so many brain cycles thinking things through, and then deciding … only to worry that their decision isn’t the right one. They make a decision, and then think about it some more. What if we could free ourselves from so much thinking, worry, and rethinking … by just trusting ourselves?
3. Learning vs. getting it “right.” A lot of the time we get stuck in indecision because we want to make the right decision, but that’s not very helpful, because you can’t know what the right decision is. In fact, there might not be a right decision. What if instead we could see it as a learning process, where we try things out and see how that goes? Learn from the process. This learning approach frees us up from having to get it right, and allows for it to be a more empowered process.
You can see from these shifts in mindset that decision-making becomes more relaxed, less tight, more trusting. Effortless, almost.
So how do we practice these shifts, and this effortless approach?
I wouldn’t recommend starting with super tough decisions, like whether to leave your current job or not. Practice with the easy day-to-day stuff to start with, until you develop more and more trust in yourself.
So things like: what should I work on next? How should I reply to this person’s email? Do I want a veggie burger or a lentil salad? Do I want to say yes to this invitation or not? Do I want to take on the clutter in my garage?
With each of these decisions, notice if you get caught up in overthinking, and see if you can practice choosing from the heart. Notice if you start to doubt your choice, and see if you can practice trusting your choice. Notice if you’re worried about whether you made the right decision, and see if you can practice looking at it as a learning process instead.
Ask yourself if you can make these decision more effortless. And see what you can discover through this kind of practice.